Sunday December 17, 2000
22.00 GMT

Hi there,

The bad news first: i'm gonna stop doing presents. I've said it before, and continued anyway after a couple of days. This time, i'm not sure. I know i'm gonna miss it, but the whole concept of doing something daily isn't working anymore. Largely through circumstances, my life is still upside down, which is good, for now. Maybe sometime later i will pick it up again, because when its working, it feels great. That whole sense of surprise, of wringing something out of everyday life where i don't suspect it, thats wonderful. But it can also be a chore, and that has the upperhand at the moment. Its not right when i feel obligated, this place of all places is where i can do what i want.

The good news (i hope): i will work on restructuring lfs.nl. There is so much material, and its all one long thread. It basically means giving the selection a more prominent place. Basically, what i want to do is seperate all the diary entrees and photos from the other things i make. Sometimes i want to make a website like superbad or nobodyhere, but thats just not me.

OK, a little rest now. Yep, i do feel tired, after the turmoil of the last few months. Still got to figure out if i want to stay here in London. I will find out, in due course.
Glad this moment feels like a present, something i didn't expect to be writing. Honestly, i haven't thought about it all day. My head to full with Tekken, hehe. Getting better at it!

Salute!
Ellen