Friday, 16.15 , 17 september, 1999

Sometimes i could just kick myself.

16.29
I love Presents. Its been a part of my life for four months now. To me, its been an amazing, thrilling time. That i really kept it up for such a long time.
But....
I'm not gonna quit. Its too important for me, i love it too much. I am surprised that i could maintain that constant stream of images and stories. But i do need a break. My life is demanding my full attention right now. In two weeks time i'm gonna change jobs (which was quite a decision for me). I am gonna celebrate that change, organizing a party (with lots of good food, music and drink, tears and laughter).

This afternoon i struggled to make a flash movie for Boijmans. Frankly, i hated it. I felt like it was sacrilege. Presents is more important to me than i realised, and more personal. This morning i woke up, thinking that i should give myself some time off, some time to get rest, take some distance, think, and give myself space to get used to my new job.

So, thats it.

I'm gonna be away from here for a while. I can't say for how long exactly. I think about four weeks. But i can't make any promises right now. Right below there is a link to the message board, and maybe i wil respond there. I hope so.
I can't believe i'm writing this, i thought Presents would just go on and one. But i do want to do it with with all my attention, and right now my life is getting in the way (and rightfully so).

So in about four weeks time i'm gonna be back, and go on making presents for you every day.

All my love,
Ellen

PS. A little something i made earlier.

 

Sunday, 21.23, 19 September 1999

Its really strange how things turn out. Its almost as if Presents has a life of its own. It seems i really can't fake it. Announcing that i am gonna take a break last friday really surprised me.
Feeling more relaxed, I am thinking about coming back in about four weeks, looking forward to it. In that time, i do want to work on Homebase, which i feel can be improved a lot. And then, when all things are a little more settled (me in my new job, saying goodbye to my old one), i'll be back! I am thinking of doing 5 updates a week then, giving myself a free weekend (They are quieter anyway, i suspect lots of people are looking around at work...). That'll give me some breathing space. Making something every single day was quite a task (that i managed it for four months amazes me).
I'm really gonna miss working on Presents, but at the same time i feel relieved. Strange times.

See you all in a month!

Love,
Ellen